Today I feel like I have a lot of options in front of me and they're all things that I enjoy. I'm not overwhelmed, or feeling like I should be doing 'something'. There are some planning things I can do, but a lot of those variables are unknown so it's more like imagining than planning. … Continue reading Day 345 – Options
"Thank you, for loving me at my worst", how wonderful to be able to say that to someone. If you're still in contact with them or not, family, friend or partner. Someone that has seen you at your worst has probably also probably felt some pain due to your actions, and they are still there.
I had an interview for the job in the Quality department yesterday and I can say I did my best. That's all I could have done. It will, or will not have been enough. There were some parts of the interview that I think promoted me and others that highlighted my 'gaps' as the jargon goes.
Sounds like you're nailing it to me! Just. Keep. Going. And keep writing because it's helpful to all of us to know we all get stuff that there is no reason for, and we will survive.
The beautiful Leonard Cohen song 'If It Be Your Will' has been in my mind. It's one of his songs that is prayerful. That's not surprising because he spent years in a monastery and was ordained as a Rinzai Zen Buddhist monk. A sign? My subconcious? Coincidence?
I’m moving from regret and disappointment that they are my parents, to compassion for their suffering and misfortune.
The Thick of It has the earnest, desperate and ultimately laughable ‘quiet bat people’, but that’s the kind of people I’m interested in. To encourage me to take risks and dare to try, instead of imagining failure and never trying at all.
These days we sometimes try to comfort ourselves that not having a small child through my recent illness was one less stress for us and that child. Or we wonder if the pregnancy would have exacerbated my illness, or my illness caused a miscarriage. We’ll never know.
It was good to have the conversation and I was left considering it as a compliment and also a warning that I didn’t want to let myself get stuck there because I was too useful at fixing problems that they wouldn’t want me to go anywhere else in the company.
Today I'm pretty serene and feeling very peaceful about the world, my place in it and my complete lack of control over it. But I know I wouldn't have to look to far back in this blog to see plenty posts full of fear, angst, anger, frustration and tears.