Not finishing listening to a podcast, or reading or writing an article, or some other project is so liberating!
Power is useful to me to achieve something, but not in and of itself. I have often been in situations where I have responsibility but no authority. That is incredibly frustrating for me, it defeats my ability to achieve, or makes it so difficult that the achievement is outweighed by the politics.
This too shall pass.
My perfectionism is internalised. I have to be perfect. I have to get it right first time. If there is feedback or someone asks for something to be changed, then it's my fault, I did it wrong, I made the wrong choice etc etc etc. I wasn't perfect.
I had 1 glass of wine with dinner last night and today I feel like I had 4.
I saw a naturopath and was treated with a combination of a 'biofeedback system', and supplements. The practitioner told me he often received feedback from his clients that they 'feel more themselves' after the treatment. I didn't really understand what that meant at the time but let it go and wondered if I would feel … Continue reading Post 419 – Becoming more myself
I few years ago I went full-happiness and ended up depressed and medicated. I used to think I was 'optimistic' and 'positive' and that was 'better' than being 'pessimistic' and 'negative', but I realise now that I was using that as a way to deny the difficult stuff, my failures and the times I didn't get what … Continue reading Post 418 – Happiness
Each time I tell this story I tweak it because I can think of a clearer way to say it, or to better fit the context of that conversation. I'm really starting to enjoy it.
When I stop, everything else starts to flow.
I remember as a teenager accepting that I already felt 40 and would eventually grow into myself. I have caught up with myself in some ways. It's nice to imagine what I can do next.