Yesterday was a very crappy day.
I signed my will, which was not the crappy part. I’m not likely to die in the next decade or so, but it is confronting.
We had a minor fender bender, which is almost the crappy part.
The crappy part was that I feel like I’m spinning my wheels, getting nowhere but don’t know where I want to go anyway. In a first world way, things are tough at the moment. They’ve been tough in one way or another for a while. It all came to a head and ended up have a good old, ugly, snotty cry.
Mostly I have a pretty positive outlook, I know that all I can control is my reaction to what’s happening around me. I’m usually pretty good at seeing all the things I have to be grateful for, that there has always been enough and it’s always worked out pretty well.
Yesterday was crappy and my resilience, positively, defence shield whatever you want to call it, it failed.
The word surrender kept coming up. In a good way. I surrendered to the tears and felt the horrible feelings in my belly just because they were there. I knew they would pass.
I don’t feel so bad today, but I still feel low.
Through all of this though, I went to bed last night and woke up this morning thinking about the murder mystery. How would the protagonist have handled my situation? What bits of it could I use? A crying in the bath scene is always effective. How excited am I to kill someone (on paper) and try to get a laugh out of it!
I’m giving myself the rest of the week to wrap up the background sort of stuff, enough to have a basic cast, setting and plot. Very basic.
Then I’m going to start writing. There’ll be research and readjustments along the way, but I feel like I will say enough is enough, that’s enough to get me started!
Production before perfection.
This is only the first draft of course.
Just. Keep. Going.
I’m not writing a book, starting a series that can be licenced to film/TV internationally. Not this week at least.
I’m starting the first draft, one step at a time