There’s a Pet Shop Boys song called Left To My Own Devices running around in my head.
I’ve been left to my own devices and it’s had mixed results.
I have a bellyache from the cheese cake, pizza and donuts I ate yesterday. But I’m thankful I didn’t buy a bottle of wine as well because then my belly ache would be worse and would also be accompanied by a headache.
Add a dash of the Queen song Don’t Try So Hard and I can give myself a pat on the back for stepping away from the hangover cliff.
I’m really good at keeping on track which is helpful is lots of ways. The flip side is I stay on track and ignore some of the things in my peripheral vision for too long.
Then I feel overwhelmed by a big scary non-specific problem and drop my bundle.
Now if a friend or counselling client told me these things I would be very supportive and tell them that beating themselves up over it is just sucking up more of their energy and they can drop that first.
I would tell them that now that they know they do this, way they can start to make an effort to notice some of the peripheral stuff and decide if and when it will need to be focussed on so it doesn’t all pile up into a big jumbled scary mess.
I would also ad my current favourite revelation – I only have to … I only have to get through the next 10 minutes. I only have to eat something nutritious for breakfast (I don’t have to go on a fast to cancel out yesterday’s junk food).
I only have to do my 10 minutes or writing (I don’t have to finish and launch my website).
I only have to spend an hour on the scene list today (I don’t have to write an entire murder mystery novel).
I only have to do the 10 minute workout in that book sitting on the shelf (I don’t have to buy new kit, join a gym and work out there until I vomit).
I only have to have a blood test tomorrow and a doctor’s appointment on Tuesday