My sister was talking about raising her kids once and said that even when it’s hard or when the kids aren’t being adorable it’s OK because it’s a phase and it will pass. Everything is a phase and they all pass.
I’ve been applying that to my world more lately. Sometimes a phase is just a couple of hours, and that idea gets me through.
She also once told me that I need to find a job I don’t hate. If my memory is correct, and memory is proven to very rarely becorrect, I was talking to her about my life long search for purpose and probably complaining about all the jobs I’ve had that didn’t work out.
At the time I was mildly insulted. Somehow I thought that it was some deficit in me that I couldn’t find work that I didn’t hate, or that I couldn’t stay in love or at least like with the jobs I had. Sooner or later, roughly around the 2 1/2 year mark, I seemed to fall out of love, and then into hate with every job.
That I made it about a character failing in me is all on me and I’ve move further away from that since that conversation. But the comment stuck and it’s ended up helpfully leading me to some answers to my purpose problem.
One of those answers is multipotentialism, which describes my propensity to love a job for a couple of years while I’m learning all sorts of new and interesting things, how it works, who’s involved and getting to solve problems and make improvements. After that I get bored and that boredom turns to hate so I leave and do the next thing that I love for a couple of years. The cycle continues.
A post from Emilie Wapnick’s home for mutlipotentialites, Puttylike, has shed some further light. Goals are hard for me because purpose is hard for me. Actually dreaming u goals is easy for me, I can write-up flip charts and post it notes and have a wonderful time dreaming of the perfect outcome. Then I start to think about the next steps and it falls apart. Is it just a phase or is it some character failing that I don’t follow through?
That’s one of the motivators for these posts – I start things, but I don’t finish them.
What if I dug more in the why of the goal, and work out what was making it so fun to dream up? What if understanding that gives me alternate ways to achieve the why and ‘finish’ it instead.
I think one of my why’s is connection. I don’t feel connected enough. I have a few close friends here, but I have more of them somewhere else. So does my husband, thankfully those friends are all in the same place. We’ve been talking about moving from here for a while and it seems that moving there is becoming more likely.