I don’t call myself a Buddhist and while I have no problem believing in reincarnation, ‘oceans of galaxies’ and ‘endless eons’, I’m not fully signed up to the program.
Illness is a great way to be busy. I had to … Just. Keep. Going. Now I’m well enough to be able to do more than Just. Keep. Going. but not well enough to go back to work. I was working part time, 5 x ½ days a week. I couldn’t even do that yet. I could probably do 3 x ½ days.
There are so many things we do out of habit, for comfort, following others, all sorts of reasons, and we think we love doing these things but they are no good for us. They don’t leave us feeling better, or peaceful, they often leave us feeling less bad or maybe numbed.
I am on Instagram, I look at a lot of cats and a few people I know. I’m also on Pinterest, recipes and sewing are my main jag.
There are lots of digital options but it’s about quality not quantity. I haven’t been on Facebook for years because it was definitely not contributing to my contentment. But a cat video on the other hand, will calm me down and put a smile on my face every time.
Another thing I’m thankful for is that I don’t get road rage. Sitting in traffic is one place I usually win at Buddhism. I can see them all going crazy, feel compassion for them and wish they find freedom from their suffering. It’s mostly Buddhism, and a generous dash of the No Agenda show.
Yes good things happen. Yes bad things happen. There is either the perfect rhyme and reason for everything, or the universe is in utter chaos. Some days I believe both at the same time.
The cat sits in a patch of sun against a red brick wall. The sun on his belly and the warmth of the wall at his back. He was very peaceful.
That’s 12 or 18 months of extra emotional growth that might have meant a different path for me. It also might not have mattered at all. We get the life we need, not the life we want.
Having to interact with Centrelink is leaving me in tears on regular occasions.