Even if I did, there would be no way to know what the consequences of all of the things I could/should/would have done would be and what state my life would be in now.
Sometimes she would do things she wanted to do but often her friends, colleagues and bosses didn’t notice, or they didn’t like it and left her alone.
Joy complains a lot, Lisa wants to find the label for this distance between her name and her predominant character trait.
‘Much better, relieved. A little guilty, but I’ll get over that’ she hears the determination in her voice. Lisa realises the heaviness in her heart as gone, and so has the nausea.
Finally Lisa breaks the silence “I remember a time, years ago, I might even still have been in high school, when I decided to be the helpful one. The one that is practical, organised, fixes things. I thought people would love me for it.”
“I can feel it in my belly, and it really does feel like something in my heart, in my chest. Christ it’s not a heart attack is it?”