Now I'm in that familiar old circular argument of how do I get the experience &/or qualification &/or recognition that will lift me out of where I am to where I want to be?
And this is how I get behind in these posts. Though this says Day 351 it's probably about 370 days since I started this 'write for 10 minutes every day' blog. Ooops. Life gets in the way. Even on the days I don't write, I think I'm more reflective and less reactive which is a … Continue reading Day 352 – Cool
The weight of the week that has been creeping in as I edge toward the weekend, and to quiet retreat time, is lifted greatly as I lift weights and sweat through the morning.
How can I make goals and take steps to improve my situation if I can't even imagine what better might look like. I can imagine for an hour or so, then I get scared and defeated and give up, telling myself 'that only happens to other people, it won't happen for me'.
At one stage during the first movement I was almost in tears. A rush of emotions welled up as the choir really kicked in. Not good or bad just pure emotions. It was an intense feeling, and I lapped it up.
"Thank you, for loving me at my worst", how wonderful to be able to say that to someone. If you're still in contact with them or not, family, friend or partner. Someone that has seen you at your worst has probably also probably felt some pain due to your actions, and they are still there.
Sounds like you're nailing it to me! Just. Keep. Going. And keep writing because it's helpful to all of us to know we all get stuff that there is no reason for, and we will survive.
I’m moving from regret and disappointment that they are my parents, to compassion for their suffering and misfortune.
Today I'm pretty serene and feeling very peaceful about the world, my place in it and my complete lack of control over it. But I know I wouldn't have to look to far back in this blog to see plenty posts full of fear, angst, anger, frustration and tears.
All families have their foibles, and an in-law’s family foibles can be more frustrating at times because you don’t share their normal. At other times, like a big party, the lack of genetic connection and understanding of their normal can be freeing.