Fuck this. No wonder I have trouble expected, asking for and receiving attention at work.
My first reaction was ‘what a wonderful idea’. Very closely followed by ‘but my role is so insignificant that it doesn’t apply to me’. I think my resistance is not about the role, I think it’s deeper and about my sense of my own worth.
After spending the afternoon with my niece and nephew yesterday, and the morning with my parents today, I’m exhausted.
This made me understand that the web project was a really great distraction during treatment. I wasn’t working, I had a lot of time on my hands. I love to read but couldn’t concentrate on reading for very long, after binge watching a couple of good shows I couldn’t take any more TV, but for a while there I could still write and do the visual stuff of building a website.
The alcoholism and dysfunction in my family is up the socially acceptable end of the scale. I feel slightly ridiculous for having ‘issues’ about my family. Listening to this gives me great hope that I can grow out of my issues and get to a more neutral, easy place as a member of my family.
I’ve been studying Buddhism for a few years, and though I’ve never had trouble accepting that reincarnation is possible, I’ve never quite gotten to the magical, mystical Mt Meru and endless oceans of Buddhas to pray to.
Listening to one alcoholic complain about the drinking habits and lifestyle choices of another alcoholic was like an out of body experience.
I'm writing on my phone today, there is indeed a WordPress app for this very purpose. I don't love my phone, it's useful and sometimes helpful but I probably only use about 1/4 of its capabilities. I'm using the phone today because my plans changed and I have some time to kill. In the past … Continue reading Day 188 – There’s an app for that
Since his heart attack I would sometimes compare my father to his contemporaries when a famous person or a friend’s father was unwell or passed away. My father’s lifestyle is always worse, that he survived the heart attack is definitely against the odd.
My family’s influence, my history and my expectations have brought me here, in spite of myself. Now I’m going to dare to consider that I’m not broken at all, that I’ve been hiding and that I don’t have to anymore.